Love you to Death!

:: The Discovery ::
The year 2001, somewhere around the month of june..enjoying my summer vacations, i was busy doing what i loved the most, “Downloading Music using P2P softwares”.

I, being an ardent music lover, always wanting to explore the depths of harmony and percussions, was desperately trying to search and download Metallica’s songs. Apparently they were the coolest band around and metal was the genre to listen. Back then listening and liking Metallica was more of  an eligibility criteria for “cool gang try outs!!” lol
Hence, like any other 14 year old, i searched for metallica and metal genre on my favourite p2p software, limewire. It displayed a never ending list of random metal songs including various sub genres such as doom, power, death, brutal, symphonic, gothic and melodic metal. But, Like a smart lad that i was, i narrowed my search by adding various filters. I opted to look for the most downloaded songs and artists.
I was driven by the sole motto of listening to as much of metal as possible and hence, i kind of ended up downloading lots of random metal anthems including almost everything from Metallica, Megadeth, AC/DC, Type O negative, Manowar, Kiss, Motley crue to The 69 eyes and so on.. I tried listening to each one of them with unbiased heart and ear.
I must have heard everything from the likes of ‘master of puppets’ to ‘highway to hell’, but somehow nothing struck a chord in my head!
 Until, i heard my first gothic metal track, ‘Christian Woman’ by Type O negative from the album Bloody Kisses. It marked my first step in the genre of metal.

That track had one of the most   A Cross Upon Her Bedroom Wall
freaky lyrics i had ever come            From Grace She Will Fall
across till then.
Yet, it had            An Image Burning In Her Mind
something which 
compelled me        And Between Her Thighs
to listen to it 
again and again.                       ~
It was nothing
 but sheer power                     ~
of voice of the
legendary,                            ~
Peter Thomas Ratajczyk.                       For Her Lust   
better known as Peter Steele.          She Will Burn In Hell
Little did i know back then,        Her Soul Done Medium Well!!!
hat i would end up
this man, his band and this particular genre of music.                   

:: Savoring The Flavor :: 
I soon got hold of their album, Bloody Kisses – (1993) and instantly fell in love with it. Every track had a distinct aura to it and overflowed with emotions!  The tracks emanated almost everything from melancholy and serenity to felicity and rage. The Album teemed with evergreen classics like Black No.1, Bloody Kisses, Christian Woman, We hate everyone and  Blood&Fire which collectively made this album a true masterpiece and a must have record on every Gothic shelf.
I still remember being fascinated and addicted to their track Can’t loose you from the very same album…. probably because it was the first time i ever heard an english band using Sitar and Tambura for rhythm and leads. This song till date happens to be one of my favorite Goth Track!!

Post Bloody Kisses, the name Type O negative soon became a religion for me and I, like an avid follower heard every thing they ever composed. They as a band had an amazing sense of humor and always managed to keep us listeners on our toes with their witty and slapstick intros.
Peter, being the lyricist for majority of the tracks often conveyed everything  from his feelings to his beliefs. Thanks to him, every album of theirs was so saturated with emotions that it would instantly grip a man with a shaken up life. He was a man with a tormented soul who just kept writing and singing to get rid of his haunting past. Little did he know that, it’s this practice of his which would unveil a great musician to this world!

“I think anyone who has an opinion, and voices it, will definitely offend someone.”
                 ― Peter Steele

:: Remembering The Legend ::
The Name Type O negative would be meaningless for me, had it not been for Peter’s vocals which played the most pivotal and vital part of  Type O negative. Peter’s song delivery always emitted strong emotion and passion, while being able to have actually a relatively wide vocal range. He seemed to just glide from mid-bass range to the higher end of baritones seamlessly..which often acted as sole pillars of fantastic dynamics for the song.  His voice, along with his fuzzy bass tone, happened to be the USP of their instantly recognizable baritone graced seven albums.
Despite of his massive structure and chiseled muscular frame, it was his voice that represented him: big, soulful and unfiltered! and in his lyrics, the giant was revealed to be gentle, wounded but smirking and a little paranoid. 

~~Peter Steele was 48 when he passed away on April 14, 2010~~ 

His words were often dark, ominous, threatening, misogynistic and sardonic but they weren’t fiction. They were part of his journey through hardships.
His voice was deep and booming. He loomed over most people like a fleshy obelisk of self-deprecation. But he seemed to carry the light with him, regardless. 

You will be sorely missed and I can only hope that right now you are up in heaven letting the almighty fully experience the impact of one of his greatest creations.
R.I.P Peter!



Green light is on, red wine in hand..  drinking to a legend who walked this land!

“If it doesn’t upset people, it is NOT rock music.” ― Peter Steele


And the Journey continues…

All my life i have been busy pursuing my preset goals!
Well…most of them were set by the likes of this convoluted society we live in. For e.g, excelling in academics has always been mandatory and everyone’s top priority. While goofing up academics shall by default brand one as a social stigma!
All you had to do is somehow earn the privilege of using predicates like…“is an outstanding all-rounder / athlete/ sportsman / singer /dancer / orator and you shall be entitled with a little halo on your head, making you an apple of your daddy’s eye and a social role model!!
Hence needless to say, I chose the second alternative and devoted my entire childhood to a single minded pursuit of such goals.
As i now recall, success often knocked at my door but for some reason instead of embracing it, I was more fixated on my ill-fated efforts and relinquished targets. I guess that’s what human behavior is all about.

From my kindergarten to my workplace, It has been like a never ending journey.
The goals kept changing and i kept chasing!!!

October Blues
It was last October when i met with an accident and my indefatigable chase came to a stand still. For once, I felt that there is more to life than just chasing your boundless materialistic goals. I had the time to think about my life as a whole.
Back then, life sure did look a little bias and unfair, but I guess it gets to you when you spend a couple of months on a hospital bed! (Not to forget: Sad Looking nurses only add on to your miseries)
Thankfully it did not last long and hence, I don’t feel the same way anymore. What now matters most is my connection with myself, being present and feeling blissful.
Thanks to my October blues, I have developed an insatiable hunger to learn more about life, faith and karma.

One hard fall and i realize,
It is not length of life, but depth of life.

The Quest?ons
Being idle for 5 long months, i was compelled to analyze, evaluate, appreciate and question various aspects of life. Frankly speaking, one can’t do much about it…this habit of constantly thinking, kept me away from sulking and self pitying.
Which in the long run turned out to be one hell’ova time killer!

By the end of my 5 months I was full of questions,
Few of them which still remain un-answered are:

Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?

What is our purpose of existence?

 Why are you, you? 

Why isn’t there any guide to live a perfect life?

Thanks to my post accident sedentary lifestyle, i had all the time in the world to ponder over them.

Tranquilizing After Hours
Waking up early in the morning had always been a disdained problem since my childhood. Being a Sikh by religion and an Army officer’s son, I was constantly reminded about the importance and sanctity of early hours of the day. Hence, I tried my best to make an effort to exploit the goodness of sunrise, but seldom succeeded.
Instead, i developed a fond liking for the after hours. I found it to be rather soothing and pacifying. It had a weird atmospheric effect creating an aura perfect to introspect and find solace. All i had to do, was to dream with my eyes open!  Thanks to those thought provoking nights, I have evolved into a better human being.

All my questions were answered using three words!

What i had come to learn with time is that,
The very reason for our existence is our “Karma”…it acts like a link to a never ending cycle. Everything from our birth to our heavenly abode, is governed by it.
I truly believe there is a lot of unexplained stuff waiting out there to be toyed with, but we the common people refrain from doing so. Ignorant of karma, we blindly believe in delusive beliefs such as fate and luck.
It is really amusing to see  a guy winning a lottery applauding his luck while a guy caught stealing blaming it.

I guess life has its own mysterious ways…

New Found Religion!
We the tamed masses are divided into believers and non believers. For the non-believers or the masses who don’t believe in karma or the supernatural, faith happens to be the religion.

Faith is something which exists in heart of every living being by default. Our subconscious mind is driven by it.
Every night we go to bed setting an alarm for the next day, this is nothing but an act of faith.
Being unaware of what is en-stored in near future, we comfortably enjoy a pleasant present. This again is nothing but an act of faith.

Life is nothing but a fiddle..and faith happens to be the bow!


My journey of still goes on..and I intend to make the most of it.
I am glad, I rediscovered myself.
Honest Karma, True Faith & Power of Acceptance has made me stronger than ever!!