F* Word!

***Not for the Faint Hearted***


Are we what we think we really are?  Or, are we simply living in a society with an abstruse reality!?
At times I feel we are nothing but the regular people living with our stubborn self righteous virtues in this so called Arcadia.. i.e. until we are shaken up by our devious circumstances and we are finally forced to embrace reality!

I often wonder, why is it that we deliver better when we are pushed against the wall..or why is it that we are more motivated when the stakes are high? Also, why is it that the freakin “realization factor” always kicks in  after messing things up!?

::The Word n The Answer::

Every human being has a driving force in life. It could be termed as, aspiration, ambition, avidity or hunger but deep down below there is something else culpable for our insatiable vigor.

“FEAR”

Fear as we know it, could obviously, by no means be associated with a compliment.  It is like a double edged sword. It’s absence could turn you into a cold blooded psychopath where as too much of it could make you go cuckoo and earn you a suffix, “Phobic_Freak”!
Hence, needless to say Fear is one of the most powerful primitive human emotion which feeds on our darkest cogitations. The more we think the more we get skittish.

 Fear is only as deep as the mind allows

Believe it or not,  It is this so called primitive feeling which has played a crucial role in keeping our ancestors alive!
I for one believe, “Fear is nothing but a vital response to physical and emotional threat.” It’s kind of an alarm system our body is accustomed to..where in most of the cases it gets triggered just before doing something irrational or immoral. 

In our today’s modern society, more and more people are falling prey to stress and anxiety and this is exactly what is responsible for, “capacious human appetite for weird diseases”.
At times experiencing or anticipating any kind of trauma are strong enough emotions to send one into desolation. But it’s the trauma knots that have a long lasting effect on us. Whenever trauma knots get triggered by our thoughts or by life events, fear arises. For, it was fear of fully experiencing the actual traumas that caused them originally to be tied in knots. Trauma knots that remain unresolved causes fear and often mark the birth of phobias  (which could be in form of that weird sinking feeling..stress..depression..anxiety etc.)
Physical traumas are short lived but the emotional ones could last for a lifetime!

::Bravery my @$$!::
“Everyone has a chink in his armor”

Anyone who isn’t scared of anything is either not amongst us(dead) or is lying to himself!
by the way, bravery is not always associated with heroism and flying bullets. A true hero is somebody who has all the corners of life covered. Someone who physically might not be Herculian but is emotionally a Rock!

Deep down below every one of us feels scared…the reason could be anything from a petty little fear of being mugged to the more serious issues of life. Fear of poverty, failure, loosing loved ones, experiencing emotional turmoil and fear of death are a few which are very common. I for one consider Fear of death or the so called  “Thanatophobia” to be the freakiest of  all. It’s a kind of phobia which could really drive you nuts and get you twisted in your head!
{Note- Guys with IQ lesser than 70-75 are immune to these kind of phobias…weirdly, it brings a smile to my face as i am now happy for couple of my friends…a true catch 22 situation!  lol}

::The Twisted Part::
“Fear has its own mysterious ways to encapsulate our mind and our soul.”

A lesson well learnt by our wise fore-fathers who gave us religion.
{Note: For people who haven’t read my previous posts: I am not at all an atheist. I am very much a god fearing person, but prefer to be known as an agnostic theist…as i believe in existence of just one mighty energy}

Majority of us have been too busy to ponder over this topic but, like it or not fear plays an important role in our modern society too. Fear is like the foundation of governance! So, it would only be right to say, “In the arsenal of governance, fear happens to be the most lethal weapon.”
All our religious sects leech on two things, faith and fear.

Where faith fails, fear prevails..

From the early days of judaism to the present day, the only thing that remain prevalent is the set of rules that govern us..or should i say, “The Do’s and the Don’ts”.
Fear of repercussions is our trigger, something that has always held us together.
For e.g., every god fearing person, irrespective of which religion he follows would by default be inclined to reach heaven rather than hell, not because heaven is so pure and scintillating but because it’s the fear of hell which gives them a little extra push.
Atheists on the other hand, who don’t tread the holy road are kept under check by our government (law), an organisation which carefully enforces guidelines to govern behavior. Needless to say that they capitalise on fear of punishment. They call it, “retribution”.
Imagine, had it not been for fear, how difficult it would have been to govern people!

For Believers We Have Religion And For Non-Believers We Have Law

The Point remains,
Is fear a good or a bad thing?
Is fear a necessary evil?

~Axe your Sufferings~

Pain as we all know it, is nothing but an unpleasant feeling which everyone would love to be deprived off. It is capable of making it’s presence felt at both, physical and emotional fronts of life.
I truly believe, it is much too complex a word for one to decipher and scrutinize but it sure does pack a punch..it teaches us a very simple lesson in life.

One just can’t dodge sufferings…they are always lurking around waiting to catch us off guard. Hence, learn to bear it and get over it.

Its so funny, pain has been with us since the inception of mankind and it still took our profound “wise-men/scientists” to burn the midnight oil just to measure and quantize it. It actually took them years to come up with “Dol”, the unit of measuring pain, which by the way is still debatable. Also, not to forget that the idea of quantifying sufferings still remains a mondo mystery!!

I, unlike many, believe pain plays an important role in everyone’s life. Enduring pain brings out the best in a person. The great acts of struggle, perseverance and courage are often an outcome of intense pain and sufferings. Maybe, that is exactly why we often volunteer to endure it. For e.g. Nothing feels better than having a bloody thorn pulled out.

Pain is nothing but like a leech which sticks on to you until you make an effort to get rid of it!

Thanks to our modern medicine, we have learned to trick our mind and physical pain can now be easily conciliated, at times be totally expunged. It is the emotional suffering which still traumatizes us and needs to be dealt with. Pain when experienced at emotional fronts of life is like a whole different ball game. Sadly, It has the might to trap us in the labyrinth of our own sub-conscious darkness and make us grieve endlessly. This kind of trauma is totally different from physical pain and could be difficult to deal with.

 It is such a secret place, the land of tears.

Pain endured without purpose, however, and especially pain inflicted upon us without cause or reason, is the one responsible for emotional agony; and unless removed through a process of acceptance, understanding and forgiveness such pain can fester and grow until it reaches the crescendo of brutality and literally consumes our entire state of being.

There are many ways to get over emotional pains. One of the most highly recommended way is to observe our emotional pains and allow them to flow through us without letting them consume us. By doing so it can help us understand why we are experiencing these negative emotions in the first place. The more we understand our negative emotions, the easier it is for us to release them. By releasing our negative emotions, we might free ourselves from pain and sufferings.
This sounds pretty fancy and may even work for someone. But, It definitely ain’t my cup of tea!! This theory doesn’t qualify for my kind of pain.
I prefer the other alternative, or should I say the other “simple yet great” alternative :  “Believe in the word Hope.”

Hope
I feel, “Hope is the feeling you have, that the feeling you have, isn’t permanent” and to believe in it you have to be a believer.
Hope is like the painkiller for our soul, the so called soul-charger, it has the strength to help us over come any kind of emotional distress.

You may be one of those people who need to see a vision of something positive to help you achieve it. If you hold hope close in your heart, you can almost envision yourself achieving the thing that you are hoping for.

The human spirit is remarkably strong and one of a kind. It seems to run forever on nothing but a morsel of hope. Without it, you have nothing. With it, nothing else matters.

In depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer. Wouldn’t have been possible without believing in it.

Axe your sufferings, never let go off Hope.


The Mid-Course Correction

::Who decides our fate::
I know fate is defined as predetermined course of events which according to our science and literature is independent of our actions. Yet, when things don’t go as per planned or when one gets cornered in life, one can’t help but ponder about it and the above mentioned definition of fate tends to look a little farce. One starts questioning the path chosen and often asks oneself, “Who  decides my fate, If not me?”. I too belong to such a band of abashed souls, hopefully trying to seek an answer.

::God n Fate::
I have always wondered about the existence of a supernatural entity governing the cosmos. The one, which would hold us accountable for our deeds irrespective of our cast and creed.
I am not at all an atheist and hence don’t deny gods existence. Rather, i do believe in him but prefer being called an agnostic-theist as i personally can not prove his existence. Since we do not decide our fate, i am guessing it should be this supernatural entity or the so called “God” governing our life.
This random belief makes me all the more anxious to know various parameters on which our deeds are adjudged..and..the various factors which aid god in deciding our future or our so called fate.

::The Unexplained part::
Fate is something which doesn’t have a specific timeline and is dynamic in nature. Hence, It is right to say that a mans fate changes every second or that a mans fate is revealed to him second by second.

I have asked a lot of random people to throw some light on my queries and i have come across various views and explanations.
Some of them were really enlightening, but i guess adhering to them or believing in them is more of a personal choice. Few of my favorites explanations and approach are:

  • Men’s fate and nature are governed by their stars. It is the pattern and layout of the heavenly stars that play an important role on deciding the course of events in ones life. There is a pseudo branch of science (Astrology) which studies the effects of planets and other celestial bodies on human beings.

Failure and success seem to have been allotted to men by their stars. But they retain the power of wriggling, of fighting with their star or against it, and in the whole universe the only really interesting movement is this wriggle.           ~E.M. Forester

  • Fate is a resultant of Karma. Karma means action. It is also the reaction that follows on an action. The process of compensation for any given feeling, thought or deed is completely automatic. Karma, however, is ones unrestricted power of choice, and it makes sure that for every choice one makes there will be a just consequence. Hence, the law of karma is often expressed with the quote: “As you sow so shall you reap”.

Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.
~Elbert Hubbard

  • There is nothing as such as fate. Life is nothing but an autobiography and hence every person has his/her own version citing different experiences. Everything that happens in ones life is purely an aftermath of series of actions. These actions could be direct or indirect. It could be expressed as “being in the wrong place at the wrong time”.

There’s much to be said for challenging fate instead of ducking behind it.
~Diana Trilling

  • Fate is nothing but a path chosen for us by the almighty. It is his own mysterious way of making one wiser. It is this reverend almighty who holds us accountable of our deeds and hence makes us tread the necessary path in life called ‘fate’. Hence, every second of our life that we have lived is fate accompli.

You know that saying, that when God closes a door he opens a window, well, sometimes out of nowhere he’ll do you one better and he’ll kick a whole wall down.
~Ryan Murphy

::My take on it :: The Mid-Course Correction::
All of the above mentioned points are nothing but point of view of random people. Hence, everyone of them holds true for its own believer. It is not justified to outcast a particular person just because he has a different bent of mind or just because his views seem blasphemous to someone. With all respect to everybody i am not trying to be judgmental about the right approach. I respect and honour every one of them.

As nothing is proven, i intend to incline myself towards the most optimistic approach. Which happens to be the last of the above mentioned explanations.
I too have now started to believe that we are treading a path chosen by the almighty and every obstacle that we face only makes us wiser and hence, gives us a chance to correct our measures for a better future.

For e.g:  A ship is flagged off from a port with the required set of directions regarding its course. Say, after covering 100 miles they unexpectedly come across a big wave which is heading towards them. It is then entirely the Ship-Captain’s decision to either take a detour or to make a correction in its course to avoid the impact. This is what is called as “The Mid-Course correction”.
Similarly, in our lives god seldom give us chances to make such mid-course corrections. In order to steer our life in a positive direction we need to make the most of it. God has his own mysterious ways of imparting wisdom.
Like the smart people say, “There is always a catch”. We just need to decipher them.

In the bout of life:
fate is like a tough opponent who at times strikes real hard,
face him and learn from him so that next time you give him a good fight anyhow.
~ Me